Discover the Appropriate Way to Approach Women in Public and Where to Meet Them
At a certain point in my life, I experienced extreme frustration with the dating scene to the extent that I contemplated quitting altogether. Despite my efforts to enhance my physical fitness, knowledge, self-improvement, business, and adopt every possible strategy for attracting a top-notch partner, I still found myself unsuccessful in meeting any women. Infrequently, I would encounter someone who met my standards, but those instances never amounted to anything. I couldn’t understand why.
Eventually, I stumbled upon a basic yet powerful concept that challenged my perspective on the matter. This realization transformed my approach to dating, relationships, and navigating the world of intimacy. The key to success is the natural expansion of one’s social circle. This fundamental element was absent from my endeavors, and recognizing its importance was crucial.
I realized that deliberately expanding my social circles was imperative. Many individuals misconstrue this aspect of dating. They believe that physical attractiveness, smoothness in the club, financial status, or one-liners are the keys to attracting women genuinely interested in sexual relations. However, this is untrue. To be successful in dating, you must establish the expansion of your social circles as a foundational element.
Why is this important? As you evolve into a better man, adopting true masculine qualities, you will become a niche product. Some women will develop a genuine admiration and attraction to you, while others won’t. It’s a lifestyle optimization game, not merely a numbers game. The goal is to meet women who genuinely desire you. This post will provide you with guidance on how to achieve this.
Before anything else, it’s essential to identify the type of woman you are seeking. Like most men, you probably have a particular kind of woman in mind that you would like to date. It could be a particular body type, hair color, or even a specific “vibe.” I can empathize with this; personally, I’ve always had a thing for short, skinny, edgy, free-spirited hippie girls, and coincidentally, my current girlfriend fits this description.
If you have a preference for a specific type of woman, it’s crucial to understand this essential concept: you need to optimize your social networks and lifestyle to come into contact with the women you desire. To achieve this, step one involves making a list of the ideal qualities you seek in a partner and specifically identifying the type of woman you’d like to meet. This process will help you succeed in expanding your social networks in the right directions and avoid wasting time on the wrong women.
When it comes to meeting women, I’ve met them in various places such as bars, classes, group events, concerts, parties, and even sporting events. The point is, you can meet women almost anywhere if you’re willing to observe and build up enough courage to approach and engage them. However, if you spend all your time in your bedroom, you’ll never expand your social circles or meet any women. It’s crucial to get out and spend time around people, practice expanding your social network, and explore the 14 best places to start meeting women.
The first rule to expand your social circles is to look for events that you genuinely enjoy, rather than just focusing on events that may lead to meeting women.
For instance, if you enjoy spiritual meditation, try attending those types of events. If you like playing pool, join a pool league. By searching for events related to your interests, you might meet new people, including potential dating partners.
However, it’s essential to keep things organic and not force it. Desperation won’t help in this case.
Art classes offer a great opportunity to express your creativity among others.
Fun fact: Pablo Picasso, known for his artistic talent, was also a ladies’ man. Women find creative men very attractive, often rating them as more desirable than better-looking but less creative men.
Joining classes or groups that allow you to interact creatively with women gives you a significant advantage in your quest to establish genuine connections and intimacy with potential dating partners.
Co-Ed Sports Teams
Working out can be a powerful aphrodisiac for women.
Joining co-ed sports teams or leagues offers the perfect opportunity to work up a sweat with beautiful, fun, and athletic women.
Consider joining a volleyball league, soccer team, or co-ed basketball team to meet women.
Community Volunteer Events
Volunteering not only makes people happier, but it can also make you more attractive to women.
Women are most attracted to men who have a purpose and are seeking to create a meaningful difference in the world.
Volunteering is an excellent way to pursue your own passions while expanding your social circles and meeting incredible women who share similar interests.
Attending small, local concerts at grungy venues can be a great way to meet new people.
Be friendly, talk to people about music, and you might just end up getting invited to someone’s loft to drink a beer and share some laughs.
Local Social Gathering Groups
Check out Meetup.com to find unique local social groups in your area.
From exploration groups to hiking groups and city-walk groups, these gatherings offer an excellent opportunity to meet like-minded people and expand your social network.
A friend of mine once started going to hot yoga classes. He was a tall, grungy rocker-type guy with long hair, facial piercings, and tattoos. Despite his unconventional appearance, women were constantly hitting on him.
Attending yoga classes can give you a significant advantage in meeting women. Firstly, the gender ratio is often skewed heavily towards women. Secondly, the women attending these classes tend to be in good shape and attractive. Additionally, the holistic and down-to-earth nature of yoga attracts women who are interested in the concept of zen and a mindful lifestyle.
It’s a perfect combination if you share those values.
Private parties are a great way to have fun and meet new people, especially women, on a more personal level. When you receive an invitation, consider accepting it. Attend, socialize, and introduce yourself to new people. You never know who you might meet.
In high school, I took a drama class that included an equal mix of guys and girls. We participated in various improv activities to improve our acting skills, and flirting happened frequently. Improv provides an excellent opportunity to showcase your humor, wit, and quick-thinking skills, which are traits women find attractive.
Public Speaking Groups
In many cities, there are groups dedicated to helping speakers and entrepreneurs develop their public speaking skills. One such organization is 1 Million Cups, which has chapters in most major U.S. cities. These groups give you a platform to speak about topics you’re passionate about and meet successful, professional women who share your values.
I recently attended a meditation and mindfulness discussion group where we talked about various topics like conflict resolution and family dynamics. Although I didn’t meet any women at this particular event, I’ve had great experiences meeting incredible women in similar groups. The open discussion format provides an opportunity to build connections organically while engaging in meaningful conversations about shared interests. In this atmosphere, genuine attraction between like-minded individuals is likely to occur.
Finding Women at Church
Meeting women at church may not be the best option if you don’t share the same religious beliefs. However, if you do, consider joining the largest and most popular church in your area. These communities often have groups where you can make friends and build relationships, providing a great opportunity to meet like-minded women who share your faith.
Ladies Nights at Local Venues
Bars and clubs can be hit or miss when it comes to finding high-value women. However, ladies nights can give you an advantage as women often get free cover, drinks, or other perks that attract them to these venues. It’s no secret that women go out to these places to have fun with their friends and meet potential partners.
Speed Dating Events
Although not my favorite way to meet women, speed dating events can be helpful in expanding your dating pool and social circles efficiently. These events are specifically designed to help men and women find potential partners quickly. However, it’s essential to remember not to make finding a woman your sole mission in life.
Business Networking Events
If you’re a man on a mission, investing time and energy into building your business or side hustle, business networking events can be an excellent opportunity to meet high-value, professional women. You can socialize and connect with women who share similar interests and passions. These events can provide a great way to build genuine connections, and if there’s mutual attraction, things can progress naturally.
Where to Meet Older Women
Finding social spots for connection with older women can be challenging, whether you’re an older man looking to meet them or a younger man interested in dating them. Business networking events, art classes/groups, church events, bars catering to an older, professional crowd, and locally based social gatherings like city walks, tours, and discussion groups can be ideal places to meet older women. Keep in mind that older women typically value intellectual stimulation, wealth-building, and intelligent conversations over looks and trendy bars or nightclubs.
Where to Meet Nerdy/Gamer Girls
As someone who has a soft spot for “nerdy/gamer” women, you may wonder where to meet them. Consider attending conventions, events, or communities centered around gaming, cosplay, or other hobbies that attract this demographic. You can also join online groups or communities related to your interests to connect with like-minded women.
It is crucial to note that many of these women tend to lead introverted lives, spending most of their time in seclusion in their bedrooms where they indulge in their favorite shows and video games, and often neglected.
Your chances of meeting nerdy/gamer girls are higher if you:
Attend college classes Join dating apps Participate in local gaming conventions/events Visit stores that sell the products that nerdy gamer girls are interested in.
Usually, these women are working towards some degree, which explains why they attend college classes. They use dating apps for efficiency and ease, without the need for outdoor or extraverted activities. However, serious gamer girls would never pass up the chance to attend gaming conventions.
My best advice is to attend as many gaming/comic/anime conventions as possible and be courageous enough to engage with attractive women at such events. The chances of meeting nerdy/gamer girls are significantly higher in such situations. Another way to meet these women is to approach them directly in department stores. It may require boldness, but it is one of the most effective ways to meet your preferred type of gamer girl in everyday life situations.
Meeting women online is becoming increasingly popular for dating, despite its imperfections. Dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble are among the most popular ones. Hinge, OKCupid, and Match.com are also commonly used. Facebook Dating is an easy-to-use option, but some people do not take it as seriously.
However, I prefer organic social networking over mission-oriented online dating as it aligns with an alpha male mentality. Some of the best ways to meet women online include using Meetup.com and Facebook Events to locate nearby events to attend, as well as finding local groups on Facebook that share the same interests as you. This approach may seem less mission-focused, but its strength lies in its ability to form genuine connections.
As self-assured, masculine men, it’s imperative that we pursue our purpose while simultaneously expanding our social networks and meeting interesting people along the way.
Tips for Approaching Women in Public: 11 Practical Suggestions
So, you’ve either met or spotted an attractive woman across the room. You’re interested in introducing yourself, but you’re worried about making a mistake. Don’t worry, this is a common fear. Here are 11 tips that can help you avoid disaster:
Approach When She Appears at Ease
Vanessa Van Edwards, my favorite expert on human body language, recommends that you only approach a woman if she appears relaxed and in a positive mood. Women in a positive frame of mind are more likely to welcome conversation.
Approach if You Notice Her Smiling or Looking at You
Has she smiled at you more than once or made eye contact with you? Or better yet, has she smiled at you, then turned away quickly, revealing her vulnerable neck or shoulder to you? This is a classic invitation to engage, and it’s likely that she’s inviting you to approach her.
Approach from the Front or Side - Never the Rear
Women don’t enjoy being approached from behind. It catches them off guard and in a negative way. Always approach from the front or side. If she sees you approaching her, she’s more likely to react positively.
Approach with Confidence
It’s a fact: women find confidence more attractive than good looks. To increase your chances of successfully interacting with a woman, approach her with a confident attitude and posture. Hold your head high, pull your shoulders back, smile, and make eye contact.
Don’t Linger Around Her Without Making a Move
In her book, The Noble Art of Seducing Women, Kezia Noble talks extensively about how men who aimlessly hover around women come across as unconfident and have little chance of success. Women are very aware of these guys, and by the time they get around to approaching, it’s usually too late. Instead, approach immediately with boldness, confidence, and as much smoothness as possible.
Don’t Overlook Women Who Seem “Bitchy”
Some women put up a “bitchy” front to ward off weaker men. These women aren’t for the faint of heart, but if you’re brave enough to approach them, they can be the best women to talk to. In her book, Kezia Noble calls this the “bitch shield” and gives men the necessary steps to destroy it. Keep your cool, don’t let her defensiveness get to you, and disrupt her pattern to gain control of the conversation. The best way to disrupt the pattern is with a well-placed compliment to disarm her.
Don’t Overlook Women Who Are Out with Friends
Some men avoid approaching women who are out with their friends, but you might be missing out by not taking your chances in such situations. Yes, it takes more courage to approach a woman who’s with her friends. However, you can start by engaging a woman on the outer field of the group, and chat her up about something innocuous. Then, introduce yourself to everyone, using that as an opportunity to display your confidence and shift toward engaging with the woman you’re interested in. This way, you make a positive impression on her friends and introduce yourself to her without it looking out of place.
Approaching with Open Body Language
I once went on a pleasant date with a woman, and at the end of it, I asked her if she wanted to come back to my place. To my surprise, she declined. When I asked her why via text, she gave me an answer that changed the way I thought about body language during a date. She said that when I asked her to come back to my place, my arms were crossed, and I seemed closed off, making her feel like I didn’t really want her. This revelation made me realize the importance of approaching women with open, welcoming body language, such as having open arms, pointing your feet towards her, keeping your chin up, and having a relaxed body posture. It makes all the difference in the world.
Matching Her Energy Level
Before approaching a woman, pay attention to her energy level. If she is energetic, try to meet her high energy level. If she is relaxed and chill, approach her with a similar vibe. While it’s not always a necessary rule, it’s useful to keep from overwhelming her or appearing boring. A man trying to pursue a woman can be many things and get away with it, but being boring isn’t one of them.
Don't Take It Too Seriously
Many men take approaching women too seriously and have a “do or die” philosophy about it, which makes them fear rejection and try too hard for success. Just relax and be yourself. Even if she doesn’t accept your advances, remember that as a strong and confident man, you don’t need a “yes” every time to feel good about yourself. Relaxing a bit will make you seem much more confident and attractive anyway.
Don't Overthink It
You don’t need to be perfect to approach women successfully, and you don’t even need to do it “right.” You’re more likely to be successful if you approach her without overthinking it than if you try to do everything perfectly. Be genuine and be yourself, and with practice, you’ll improve your approach. Don’t sweat it, and don’t overthink it.
Other Things to Keep in Mind When Meeting Women
Get Skilled at Reading Body Language
Learning to read body language can improve your approach game by a drastic margin. Check out the book Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People by Vanessa Van Edwards to gain some serious body-language insight.
One way to overcome approach anxiety is to give a woman “marks off of 10” before approaching her. Think of the hottest woman who ever lived, and then compare her to the woman you want to approach. For each flaw, mark her down a point, and tally them together. This can change your mindset and give you more confidence because you’ll realize that she isn’t perfect, which makes her less intimidating.
Don't Rely Too Much on Canned Openers
Googling “pick up lines” will give you many results. While canned material can work, it’s better to be yourself and say the first thing that comes to mind. Forgetting canned material in the middle of an approach can be embarrassing and increase anxiety levels.
Maintain Masculine Frame at All Times
It’s crucial to maintain a masculine frame while approaching women. Don’t appear needy, clingy, desperate, scared of her, pedestalize her, try to prove yourself to her, believe that she’s out of your league or better than you, fear rejection, or shower her with compliments. Just be cool, calm, and confident. Be a man who’s quietly and confidently assessing her. Deep down inside, women crave validation from high-value men because it feels like a conquest when they succeed.
Ensure you have a purpose before approaching her. It is crucial to give her a legitimate reason for engaging with her. For instance, you can ask about her shoes or request her opinion on a gift for a friend. Improving your conversation skills can also aid in connecting with women intellectually. You can boost your conversation prowess by reading Dale Carnegie’s classic book, “How to Win Friends & Influence People.” One common mistake men make is not asking for a woman’s number after initiating a conversation. Although it may be scary, it’s a necessary step that shouldn’t be skipped. Women enjoy being approached, provided it’s not awkward or uncomfortable. With these tips, you can identify your preferred type of woman and confidently approach her. Don’t overthink it and be yourself, even if you mess up. Remember, nothing will happen if you don’t try, so take a chance and never give up.